from a small portion of my process paper (translated to be all lower case, of course):
outside of school, i am an artist, a photographer. for me, photography is a form of self-expression; because of this, it is meaningful to share my art with others. in this age, social media is the obvious medium to share my art. social platforms have given me the opportunity to express myself through photography and writing to others: i often write posts about art and "teenagedom" (here) on my blog, i make short films on my Youtube, and i post a lot of photography on my instagram. but i am conflicted because they have also tempted me into creating art for the sake of self-promotion and "likes" instead of for the purpose of expressing my authentic self.
until ninth grade, i kept my followers in mind when i photographed. i strategically figured out what sort of photographs received more "likes," changing my subjects to fit the trend: photos of hands, marble backgrounds, pictures of food, new york skylines, avocados, and selfies were most popular at the time.
my public prominence grew, and i felt a sense of fulfillment despite the fact that i valued the views of others more than my own.
my authenticity had gotten overwhelmed by my self-promotion on social media.
to search for purity and honesty in this platform, i wanted to study the purity of self-expression in another medium… architecture; specifically, the work of mexican architect luis barragán.
throughout his career, barragán used inexpensive and simple materials such as wood and brightly colored stucco and focused on the interaction of his work with nature and light. in a time of ostentatious art––of the ornate surrealism of frida kahlo and savador dalí––luis barragán achieved a clarity of vision through plainness.
i wanted to study the art of luis barragán because i was struggling with my own self-expression on social media. the simplicity of his work inspired me to think differently, in a way that valued authenticity through simple rather than elaborate expression.
. . .
my satisfaction level for my documentary fluctuated throughout my study. over the past nine weeks, i would estimate that i have spent more than forty accumulated hours on this project, most of which were creating the video itself. thus, i felt unsatisfied and somewhat disappointed with my work around the seventh week of production. i had seen my video so many times that i had lost sight of its significance and weight. only when i began to show it to my friends, my school's faculty, and eventually my school's alumnae, was i reminded of its importance and value. it is somewhat ironic, in light of the message of Loud Quiet, that i needed this satisfaction by other people to realize the worth of my project. however, i did not create this project for the intention to garner that satisfaction. so, i guess that I really have changed after all.