Posts filed under blah blah blah

'minimalism'

what do you think about when you hear the world ‘minimalism’? do you think of art? do you think of architecture? fashion? design? or do you think about lifestyle and marie kondo and perfectly organized spaces with glass jars?

i think more often than not, i’m thinking about the type of minimalism where you try to get rid of all of your unnecessary belongings— the “things” that have seemingly no impact on your life. the things that you don’t need.

i spent a few weeks studying the origins of the term ‘minimalism’ itself–– aging back to the 1960s when it was used to describe artists like andre, judd, and flavin in their primes. artists who we praise now but were previously scorned by art critics for their mundane pieces.

carl andre, “lever” (1966)

carl andre, “lever” (1966)

donald judd, “untitled” (1965)

donald judd, “untitled” (1965)

dan flavin, “untitled (to barbara lipper)” (1973)

dan flavin, “untitled (to barbara lipper)” (1973)

even then, the term had this sort of air of entitlement: art in its most raw form was considered art in its most pure form. david raskin, a professor of contemporary art history at the school of art institute of chicago, said that for viewers, minimalist art provided the “opportunity to see the world without preconceptions.” i assume that he is implying that any other type of art makes us see the world insincerely..?

as i followed the transitions of the term ‘minimalism’ throughout the years, this “high-brow-ness” of the word endured, even after being adopted by other creative spheres: fashion, design, and architecture.

it was also – at some point, i remember – a tumblr fad. entire blogs were dedicated to posting photographs of pristine, white, angular interior designs and buildings. its look is sterile, almost to the point of discomfort. it seemed extreme.

i must say that as an artist myself, i’ve been guilty of trying to emulating this trend. minimalism just looks nice. it’s luxurious and clean—both physically and aesthetically.

but the reality of ‘minimalism’ isn’t all that pretty.

more recently, ‘minimalism’ has been crafted into an entire lifestyle. a lifestyle that, again, “leads to purity”… personal purity and self-fulfillment. how we live and what we own, according ‘minimalism’ activist marie kondo, indicates our “virtue and moral correctness.” so if we don’t live by her standards, we don’t have virtue? i’m getting that same sense of entitlement as the artistic connotation, no?

that’s just my feeling.

‘minimalism’ also becomes a socioeconomic issue because it is only truly accessible to those who have the financial cushion to buy back the things that they discard if they need them later.

“in order to feel comfortable throwing out all your old socks and handbags, you have to feel pretty confident that you can easily get new ones” — arielle bernstein, the atlantic

kondo underscores the “life-changing” psychological benefits of ‘minimalism,’ but doesn’t really acknowledge the environmental benefits that the lifestyle poses as well.

it’s obvious that we have a tendency to buy and own more stuff. but what does all of this stuff do to the planet? human product consumption contributes to almost 60% of global greenhouse gas emissions (GHGs) alone. in other words, the more we accumulate, the more we contribute to GHGs.

‘minimalism’ is fundamentally about owning less. if we just own less, we can help alleviate these harmful emissions. we just have to make ‘minimalism’ easier for people to follow and broaden the scope of the term away from this new-age-y, high-end lifestyle to help “find our truest selves.”

we just have to be honest with ourselves and our habits. at its core, ‘minimalism’ is about being more conscious of the things we buy and why we buy them. if we adhere to that principle alone, i think it would be easier for people to get behind— both as a concept that promotes psychological sustainability as well as eco-sustainability. it doesn’t have to be about purity and moral virtue. it just has to be about mindfulness.

just a thought.

if you want to read my full essay in a more educational and unbiased format, you can find it here.

thanks for listening.

Posted on April 23, 2019 and filed under blah blah blah.

when you can't eat a lot of stuff

a few weeks ago, i was diagnosed with this chronic disease called small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. people call it SIBO. this is what i felt like when i received the news.

i’ve been dealing with a lot the last four to five weeks. i know i haven’t really been present on here, and honestly, that space has been relieving. i think what is overwhelming me most is the abrupt and almost instantaneous changes that are happening in my life to cure what has seemed like almost six years of health problems.

what does that look like? bouncing between 2 different “diets” that have opposite restrictions (note: “diet” in this context = limiting certain foods to keep me from relapsing into SIBO, not trying to lose weight). seeing 4 doctors regularly— 5 after today. beginning my cycle of antibiotics for what i thought would be 3 months. explaining to people what i can’t eat and why i can’t eat it. having to prove to people that my health matters.

i think it is honest to say that i am frustrated. i’m slowly acknowledging these “setbacks” as progress— that this is what i need to push through, deal with, accept to get better. i am getting better. it gets easier to make this distinction as i see improvements in my health.

for me, the struggles that i am facing in recovery have had more of a mental impact than a physical one. i don’t want to restrict my food, but i am being asked to. i don’t want to check labels on the back of containers, but it is heavily recommended that i do so. in minor ways, i am being asked to return to disordered habits. i know that i cannot let that happen.

sibo recovery has been a test of my recovery from previous disorders. i dismiss disordered thoughts as soon as they enter my head space. i try to think less about why i am eating something even though i have to make sure i know what i am eating. i’m starting to practice mindful eating. i just have to slow down.

i have proven to myself that i am stronger than whatever i was going through many years ago.

and i am so incredibly proud of myself for that.

i’m getting better. i’ve been coping with the stress of my fluctuating health the best way i know how: cooking. i make breakfast in my dorm every day. you can find out what i get to eat every morning as i document my meals here.

i’m getting stronger.

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Posted on April 3, 2019 and filed under blah blah blah, i make food, i take photos.

slow down

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i have to keep reminding myself to slow down. to slow slow slow down. to not overanalyze minute details. to draw my attention away from the things that should matter less.

i had a little bit of a mental breakdown on monday. it was this feeling of pent up and enclosing anxiousness and fear of myself. my head was bubbling with self-deprecating thoughts that kept nagging and nagging at me. i was breaking myself down in small, stinging ounces. i knew that it was all in my head. it didn’t matter. i couldn’t stop myself from thinking of myself in this critical light of revulsion. i knew that it was agonizing me but for half the day i just couldn’t stop. i boxed myself in with my own thoughts. i was dipping back into old depressive habits when i was younger.

i called my mom.

and i clicked.

i distracted myself. i cleaned, made my bed, pounded out work, ate. i took a walk. and i took a bikeride to run errands that i had been putting off. just checking off boxes helped me feel better. i took some time to just sit in the sun for a little bit. i reached out to my friends for help. i felt better. i got some bright yellow flowers.

i’m more conscious of how my mind reacts to these bouts of anxiety. i can control them better. but in the moment, i feel entirely caged in my head. i just need to become better at seeing the bigger picture in these entrapping but minuscule moments.

i’m getting better.

thanks for hearing me.

just slow down, iz.

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Posted on March 6, 2019 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.

2019! & found artists: hiller goodspeed

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happy almost new year. 2-0-1-9.

happy birthday to my 5-5 year-old papa. he hasn’t aged since 33.

2-0-1-9. 20-19. 20-nineteen. twenty-nineteen. that’s a weird one. i was just getting used to 2018. it feels like years are rapidly accelerating more than normal. i think i’m in this place where new things are new all the time and new things are a lot more frequent than normal or expected or “i’m-used-to-it” things. i love it. it’s experimental and unpredictable. i get to try and do things on my own, and even though that scares me, it’s also pushing me to figure things out as efficiently and effectively as i can.

i’m being pushed (emotionally, creatively, etc.) and that is exciting.

to celebrate both my dad’s birthday and new year, my mom, dad, q and i usually announce what things we want to work on for the next 365 days. ““new year’s resolutions”” is what the people call it, i believe?

so here are a few of mine:

  1. start a weekly (or maybe bi-weekly) video series. get those creative ! juices ! flowing !

  2. read a couple times a week instead of exploring the dark interwebs

  3. content & quality > frequency & quantity (this is a continued resolution)

  4. don’t stay silent.

  5. join organizations or groups (in school) that push my boundaries (creatively, socially, etc.)

  6. make a lot more art since i have the freedom

what are your resolutions of 2019?


oh, yeah. hiller goodspeed. what this post is really about. his doodles, art, sketches, gifs, and whatnot make me really happy. they are emblematic of my dry, sarcastic humor. i’m sure we share that same sense of what' is “““funny”””. his drawings weren’t originally in a notebook, but i thought it added an analogous feel.

there’s not much color diversity. and i love that. they’re simple (yet also sophisticated?) drawings and i love that too. they’re just fun.

i thought it would be only appropriate to share them. you’re welcome.

“most of my drawings begin with a great deal of thought. i eavesdrop and daydream and take in my surroundings which i later refine and re-purpose in my artwork. i have email drafts and notebooks where i record half-thoughts and ideas that might become more interesting once i’ve had time to think about them.” - hiller goodspeed, for it’s nice that


happy (almost) new year!

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Posted on December 31, 2018 and filed under blah blah blah, this was found, i share stuff.

found artists: alex proba

 

“making [is the best part of my job]. and the people i am making things with.”

alex proba is a “multidisciplinary designer”. a woman of multiple mediums working with shapes and colors and form of all kinds. in 2013, she founded studio proba, where all of her work can be found — aka graphic joy.

one of her most recent projects has been her “a poster a day project” which has been ongoing for almost 3 years. it was, she writes, her way from getting unstuck — to design without really thinking but just playing around without guidelines for thirty minutes every evening.

from abstract to surreal to pattern-filled to completely minimalist, each graphic is unique.

“I can’t take each and every one too seriously and I can’t spend too much time on it. If the result of this is me not liking some, than that’s okay, as long as it still stays my visual diary. That is what makes it truthful and real.”

there’s an integral drivenness that comes with creating something once a day every day for three years. in proba’s case, it requires a drive to not only challenge yourself to create consistently but to let things settle in once they are created (sometimes). often times, i realize, i have a similar idealist/perfectionist mindset when making something.

over the past few years i’ve learned to come to terms with my “bad” art — classified usually by the fact that a) i am not proud of it or b) it just sucks overall. alex is right though: that kind of art is healthy and almost essential to becoming a better artist.

we must remember the sucky stuff we made to figure out how to do something cooler next time. i think about that daily. the sucky stuff is the most real. we made it.

happy monday.

p.s. happy birthday, gab

Posted on September 24, 2018 and filed under this was found, blah blah blah.

hello, la

 
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hello.

i’m in a new place. i’m 3000 miles away from home-home. i call this place “home” now. my friends seem to hate it. i’m just a jumble of homesickness. i’m settled. or settling. i’m creating but just not in the way i expected i would. it’s coming soon, though.

i’m meeting cool people. i’m friends with art people, film people, business people, econ people. i’m finding “me”s. or more interesting “me”s, which thrills me.

i want to make more!

i want to film more!

i want to take the metro more!

it’s only been four weeks.

i’m in a constant reminding-myself-mode that i am just getting started.

i miss home.

Posted on September 14, 2018 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.

summer polaroids

i have three weeks until i leave for los angeles. back home i go. 

it's weird. i'm living these summer moments home candidly and with the intention and the knowledge that they will be my last in this sort of situation, as a high schooler living in new york. that's weird to me. i won't be seeing anyone from home until november. what????? i'm on my own. 

i thought i'd reflect on a few photos that don't exactly sum up my summer but thought were indicative of the sort of stuff i've been up to. they're not in no particular order because chaotic order is more style. or organized chaos, i guess.

i've been walking around and eating and dining and making and doing and cooking and baking and reading and relaxing and visiting museums and seeing people and eating ice cream and dying on the really hot days. 

i remind myself every few days that i must really savor these moments with the people i love here. this is not an ordinary moment. thank you to everyone who's made it special.

Posted on July 26, 2018 and filed under i take photos, blah blah blah.

i was grey

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here's the thing about graduating at my school. you wear white. pure, crisp, blinding white. or, at least, that's what you're supposed to wear. commencement is a big deal for obvious reasons: it's a nod at our efforts to succeed at school for the past 13 years and it's a celebration of our last moments of being a teenager in high school. like a lot of other schools, we honor our graduation with diplomas, singing, and our families and close friends in front of us while we grin onstage. we are being championed for us. i am being championed for me. 

the symbolic purity of white dresses is something i've only found at my school, (though i know others do it as well in the city). i wasn't exactly white though.

on graduation day, i knew it was coming-- looks (greatly disapproving) and comments towards my dress. i acknowledged that i was pushing white. even though i had expected some pushback before i came to school, i was still so excited to feel beautiful on a day that celebrates me for me, because that's what commencement is all about, right?

someone had approached me before we walked on stage and told me that the color of my dress would ruin pictures. i kind of spiraled into a whirlpool of self-deprecating and self-conscious mind junk after that. 

i did not feel beautiful, i was insecure. i felt ashamed. i didn't smile wholeheartedly until i realized that people didn't have to look me up and down anymore. the biggest day of our entire upper school life and i showed up looking abnormal. 

but eventually i sucked it up. 

i am me for me. maybe my dress wasn't white, but it was me. "irrefutably you" is what one of my friends told me. 

and that was it.

i was grey. 

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Posted on June 14, 2018 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.

i'm learning

image by haleyisokay

image by haleyisokay

i'm learning.

two weeks ago there was a mass shooting in parkland, florida. i'm ashamed to have only just felt this intense urge to do something now, after so many other tragedies.

i'm inspired and empowered by the voices of my fellow teenagers. the survivors of parkland have transformed and gained hold of the national dialogue. in those two short weeks, they've already enacted change.

i'm learning to use my voice too.

i'm learning to become more educated on our country's current standing on gun control among about other issues that i am passionate about (of which, at times, it seems there are too many). 

i'm learning to call my state and local reps and communicate my own views.

i'm learning to break the boundary of doing, beyond planning, beyond hypotheticals. 

vote! organize. walk. scream. march. debate. and continue.

i'm learning to do all of these things. i'm finding the power to do all of these things. 

Posted on March 1, 2018 and filed under blah blah blah.

biggest little city

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i went to reno last weekend.

i saw my friends that i never get to see.

we recorded music.

i climbed a snowy hill.

i fell into the snow. purposefully. 

i was in arizona for a few hours.

i think i cried at some point. i probably won't see them again for a while.

love you guys.

Posted on December 19, 2017 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.

eighteen

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it's hard to believe i'm an adult now.

i can sign my own papers, take a flight by myself, vote. 

i am my own person now. legally. 

that's such a strange thing, and another addition to the growing whirlwind of growing-up-stuff i'm driving into.

i am not ready to go quite yet – i still have a whole year ahead of me. 

i will make the most out of what i have. i will make the most out of what i am given. i will make the most out of who i am. i will make the most out of eighteen.

i am eighteen now.

Posted on September 26, 2017 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.

hello, seniors

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dear seniors,

hello.

it's a weird feeling isn't it? being back? we're entering this new realm of teenagedom and it feels strange. it feels like we're almost adults – we are almost adults – but there still exists this surreal barrier that we have to break through to get there. 

i won't be surprised if we spend our days writing away our life stories in the next few months, trying to explain our identities in only a limited number of words and numbers. 

two days in, it's already stressful. i want the best for all of you, even if i don't say it to you all the time. we're all going to get there, to adulthood or whatever that means. this will be hard, i know. but we'll get there.

there's going to be a lot of stuff to look forward to.

i'm excited for it all, and to spend our last months together with you guys.

cheers to us,

izzy

Posted on September 10, 2017 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.

things i did in august

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images by gothamist

images by gothamist

1. eat at gloria restaurant, nyc

fish and seafood galore a.k.a. my kind of place. 

the restaurant is small and humble, and the windows let in this really nice light. 

it was no surprise that every dish was stellar. really recommend if you love non-meat things and dashi-butter mushrooms.

images by melissa joulwan

images by melissa joulwan

2. make paleo oven-fried salmon cakes

with more time on my hands, i've been cracking down on trying new recipes.

these salmon cakes with almond flour and mashed sweet potato by melissa are actually so great. i stored them for a few days and re-fried them on a pan right out of the fridge. 

threw it on a salad, dressed it as a burger, ate one for a snack. 

image by carnegie museum of art

image by carnegie museum of art

3. visit hélio oitica + history of protest at the whitney, nyc

honestly, whenever i go to the whitney i'm always at least a bit disappointed. 

but, last week was definitely an exception to that. my friend hannah and i roamed every floor, carefully and thoughtfully looking at every piece (especially those of the "incomplete history of protest" exhibit). 

first time in a long time that i was just in awe of an entire collection. 

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4. see dunkirk in 70mm

god, this film was spectacular, which is no surprise because of nolan and zimmerman's unified genius. every shot was stunning, every track was incredible, the entire interweaving of shots and events was brilliant.

i have no complaints. see it in 70mm. 

5. binge-watch avant garde vegan on youtube

i actually did binged these videos this morning. 

i'm not a vegan anymore, but i have loved gaz oakley's recipes nonetheless. the kitchen in this squash risotto video is goals. 

happy august, everyone.

Posted on August 27, 2017 and filed under blah blah blah, i share stuff.

"i am right now"

System.out.println("Hello, World!"); 

as the school year is inching (very, very slowly) to a close, everything else seems to be picking up. i see why, but at the same time i'm getting incredibly overwhelmed by work and school and not being (in my mind, creatively) productive. 

the thing that's been on everyone's mind is college. college or school. school and college. school in preparation for college. college in preparation for beyond. beyond in preparation for... even further beyond? i'm getting overwhelmed by that too. 

it feels like every adult asks me, "where do you want to go?" expecting me to have a few universities or professions on my mind. i usually say, "i don't know," and they say, "okay" and stop the conversation. even though my seniority "status" will finally be attainable in just a few more weeks, it's difficult for me to look as far ahead as everyone expects me to. 

like, yeah, i'm going to be heading off to a college in just a few more than 365.3 days, but then again there's still 365.3 days until then. maybe ask me, "what next? what are you focusing on now?" while i'm still getting to that point. i mean, usually i have to ask to myself that anyways. 

because i really mean "i don't know" when i say "i don't know" because i don't... know. i'm almost eighteen now. people tell me that i have my goals straight and my life pretty much figured out, but i don't want it to be like that. 

i can say that i know who i want to be, but not where i'm going to be. right now, i'm right here, with a research paper, a critical analysis paper, 3 AP exams, and a literature exam on my hands. what's next is what's right now. i'm dealing with what's right now.

 

Posted on May 5, 2017 and filed under blah blah blah.

getting to where i'm going

in my english class, we were given the task to create something inspired by walt whitman's "song of self", which described the individual's search for her own identity. our project was supposed to most authentically represent ourselves in a physical, verbal, or visual medium.

naturally, i chose photography.

here was my introduction to my project:

"it was hard for me to figure out what aspect of my identity i wanted to talk about when the medium in which i wanted to present my project is my identity. the next most logical thing i could about is how art has become a part of who i am. the answer is new york city."

enjoy

Posted on February 8, 2017 and filed under blah blah blah, videos!!!.

it's hard to stay positive

image by bydvnlln

image by bydvnlln

image by joel

image by joel

image byfayznasir
my poster for the women's rights march

my poster for the women's rights march

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i've never wanted more than

to fight back

to call back

to protest

to represent me, to represent others, to represent who we are

it's hard to stay positive in a time like this

it's hard for me to have hope

but this is the time when i stand stronger

and i am stronger every day

i will fight, i promise.

izzy

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Posted on February 5, 2017 and filed under blah blah blah.

first snow

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dear you,

we got our first christmas tree with jenny (our dog) today. 

it was snowing and foggy and eerie and empty and beautiful.

jenny, who was born in the cayman islands, is obsessed with the snow.

she's like us: beach-born, energetic, and overall kind of crazy. it was no doubt she'd love the snow as much as q and i do. 

we got a twelve-foot tree. it was so big the guys who owned the little tree farm had to use a tractor to drag it to our car. it smelled like christmas all the way home.

it smells like christmas in our house now.

i hope i got good pictures.

happy holidays.

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Posted on December 19, 2016 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.

and, thank you

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yogurt panna cotta . pumpkin pie and ginger ice cream . roasted yams and delicata with yogurt and pomegranate . kale salad with persimmons and tahini dressing . roasted green beans and whole grain mustard . mashed potatoes . stuffing . turkey . gravy cranberry sauce with jalepeños . roasted cauliflower steaks with capers and olives and parsley . berry crisp .

i am thankful for life

i am thankful for opportunity

i am thankful for people and family and friends and love

i am eternally thankful for everything

enjoy your holidays 

be thankful for everything that you have

love,

izzy

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Posted on November 25, 2016 and filed under blah blah blah, i take photos.